You know that feeling post Facebook stalking, where you think you’ve added someone, or liked a picture accidentally. Usually it’s an ex-girlfriend, or a new girlfriend of an old boyfriend-current crush. First your heart starts beating really fast, then you start sweating. Before you know it, you’ve had a total freak out and at least three of your friends are consoling you. This is how I felt,when he asked.
“Why are you smiling at me?” “Um, I was just being nice.” “I mean, do we know each other? ” “No, I was just smiling at you.” “Oh, that’s cute.” Shit, what if he thinks I’m obsessed with him now. “It doesn’t mean that I’m obsessed with you, you’re really not my type! Sorry, that didn’t sound right.” “Hahaha. You apologize all the time don’t you?” “I’m sorry, what? No, no I don’t actually.” “Yeah, if someone attacked you, you’d say, oh sorry you attacked me!” “No I don’t apologize. That’s mean.” “Ha, just relax.” What a douche. Don’t let him talk to you like that.“I’m totally relaxed, and that’s really rude. You don’t know me.” “Well, I’d like to.” “Please, this isn’t a movie. So no, I really don’t like it when people make assumptions about me #makesAnAssOutOfYouAndMe.” Even though I’ve just planned your entire future with Alice in my head.
“You’re just really interesting.” “Oh wow what a compliment. I’ve said two words to you, and I’m interesting.” “You’re eyes are interesting. They’re really nice.” “What, I’m sorry?” “There ya go?” “No, I’m just saying that’s a total lie. Blue eyes are pretty, interesting eyes. Mine are just dark.” “Well, with green in them.” “Okay, so I get what you’re doing. It’s adorable for a 22 year old. But I have no time for it.” “For what?” “You scream ghoster.” “Well you scream #crazy.” “That is sooo. You are exactly how I thought you’d be.” “How you thought I’d be? I was just joking. It’s not a bad thing.”Just leave. “I’m leaving now.” “Aw, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You’re really cute. Usually cute girls are good crazy.” “O my God, I just don’t like this car. Nor do I like being called cute. I’m leaving, not because of you. I would never let a man have that kind of power over me.” I clearly would, that’s what I’m doing. Well maybe I wouldn’t mind making a dramatic exit either. I haven’t been in a show for months. Then I remember that it’s illegal to switch cars, and appears very dangerous. This isn’t the way I want to die. Suck it up. Shit, this is a lot harder than people make it look. I can’t open it. I hear him laughing. This is so embarrassing. “You want me to help you out.” “No, I don’t want you to help me. It’s not that I can’t open the door.” “Seems like it.” “No, I just decided I don’t feel like moving.” I turn around, and, he has a total Edward Cullen laugh. The exact laugh he had when Bella walked down the aisle, #breakingdawn. “Okay, fine I’ll go out with you.” “What wow, I didn’t ask you out.” “Well, your face did.”